Week One Feels

I have thoroughly enjoyed the place where we all began this journey into writing center studies. After being surrounded by my own cohort members either returning as veterans or new to Boise State’s writing center for the past year, I have been itching to follow in their wonderful footsteps. Before I begin to reflect more on the texts we have responded to thus far I want to clarify a few things:

1. I named my blog Writing Center Feels-ings because, for some reason, I have felt more things emotionally now than any other semester of any level of schooling. I don’t know why this is, but have chosen to embrace this phenomenon and try to incorporate feels in every journal (also because what else would be included in a journal besides feels?).

2. I understand that my reflections, feelings, opinions, insights, and so on are colored by my own lenses. One lens comes from being extremely close to the Rebel Rhetoricians (a.k.a. Emery, Ali, and Madison) and Skyler and, thus, being familiar with certain conversations because of them as well as knowing their research interests and plans. Another lens I bring is my own skepticism and occasional distrust of academia and universities because of the ways I feel rhetoric and composition (and therefore writing centers, too) are marginalized and undervalued. I don’t mean to sound like North when I say this, but I feel strongly that people are generally unaware of the awesomeness that comes from English friends. There are more lenses, but these felt like the most immediate.

3. After re-reading the journals section of the syllabus I am a bit worried about being too casual. I know how to write in rigid academic format (and this I do well), but after Ali went on for so long last year about fluidity and trust in blog spaces I know I am fighting an internal battle for how to write in this getting centered journal. I want to continue trying to incorporate never-ending humor into my words, but then the battle becomes leaving the rest of the inappropriate (read: non-academic) habits that want to work their way in out. I know I can be focused and tidy in crude ridiculousness, and I also know I can be untidy and unfocused in drab academic writing...and any other number of combinations are also possible. Where are my boundaries? How much of me—true me—can be included? And how do I reconcile hyper-awareness of rhetorical situation with all of the Ali rants about being free?

Now that the previous tangent is complete, I can reflect. I believe that North was absolutely shady in both of his articles, but I liked them (not the second so much). I liked them because he is doing writing I wish I could do—being bold, shedding light on often under-represented or generally un-discussed conversations, and questioning the structure that higher education works in. His writing was angry, yes, but also impassioned in ways that most photo-copied articles typically aren’t. In the moments while I was reading the piece it I wondered about backlash… but was more preoccupied with rooting him on from a time long past that exigence in years, but maybe not in attitude. His claims were sometimes off, misguided, idealistic, or bizarre, but sometimes they were goosebump-enducing. And this is why I know you placed this text in our hands first. North is a point of ignition—of entering the Bahktinian parlor and sitting down wondering, “what’s eating this guy?” then finding out why and most likely agreeing. This was not the best of anything, but it was raw and human and breathed passion for writing centers as well as passion for protecting them against un- or mis-informed audiences.

Reflecting on this first week and the two meetings I am thankful for the readings, their order, and the beginning you have laid out. A beginning that, to me, feels like it comes from a place of a little bit of rebel and a little bit of rhetorician…and since I belong to a group with a name so similar, I am ready. I feel centered in knowing that there is more information, published material, and ongoing research than I could ever get my hands on or understand, but that we will be given the chance to feel strongly about what we do encounter.

Additionally, I want to talk about Lunsford because she is lovely, but due to my numbered digressions above I am over word count and worry about making you read more than your fair share of my abstract feels and thoughts. Thank you for the opportunity to enter into yet another complex and specialized place, and for this expressive space.

Until seven days from now,

Nicole