Before continuing through the rest of the journal I am struck by the way I am beginning and ending the semester in a similar way but very different place--with my cohort, and now as a member of the writing center with them. My very first journal begins with centering (feeling the pre-conference vibe) myself within a cohort of writing center people. Similarly, I situated myself in my WLN article still as that person within a cohort of members and veterans… and the ways that informed, complemented, or even sometimes complicated my entry into the field of writing center studies. There is so much still to learn, but I can say that my journey into the field thus far was absolutely colored by the tidbits of information, stories, or scholarship I obtained through them. I did, however, appreciate that I was able to form my own ideas and find a comfortable place in the 303 cohort group as an individual.
I am thankful that the first thing you suggest in this reflective final blog entry is to go back and look at old blog posts. I know I haven’t read my original post since writing it, so it was fun to read what I had written with a little bit more knowledge and situation. Revisiting this string of words feels important to me for reasons I will explain after:
And this is why I know you placed this text in our hands first. North is a point of ignition—of entering the Bakhtinian parlor and sitting down wondering, “what’s eating this guy?” then finding out why and most likely agreeing. This was not the best of anything, but it was raw and human and breathed passion for writing centers as well as passion for protecting them against un- or mis-informed audiences.
There are many more eloquently-written sentences or ideas, but something feels very raw--to reuse the word I used way back when. Considering things like points of ignition (or exigence), the never ending conversation as written by Bakhtin, understanding the feelings and attitudes of writing center people, passion, protection, audience and purpose (#surpriserhetoric)... all of these ideas or ponderings remain with me sixteen weeks later. These feel like ever-important discussions about writing center work: commitment to engagement in writing center scholarship, studies, and research; looking at our perceptions and feelings about all or any writing center thing; feeling impassioned and enthusiastic about the work itself at any level; protecting our writing center spaces, staff, and student/writer clientele; and the rhetorical awareness in consultations and of the writing center, very broadly. It feels funny but cool that in these few sentences I wrote so long ago are actually true to work that is done and relevant--who would have known?
But onto the suggested questions, because I like them. I have grown as a writing center consultant in comfortability more than anything. I still worry about how to best serve each and every student I encounter, but have not yet run into something I felt unprepared for or unable to help a student with or through. Also, becoming involved with a new community and the people that make it up helped me grow as a consultant, instructor, and (writing center) person. Familiarity does a lot, though, for consulting--making it through the first few weeks was my biggest battle thus far. Along lines of comfortable and familiar, so far nothing has surprised me too much. I know that writing is difficult and that students struggle with what how why do things. I knew once I understood how things work that I would likely be enthralled with a field filled with geeky weirdos like me.
As for future roles in the writing center, things feel a little up in the air. My position is set in stone as GSA and consultant, but I really want to ideally find a way to be someone people go to if they need or want help. I am uncertain if this is a good idea or not, considering there are things I still learn everyday, but want to really try to own the GSA role and whatever that is supposed to entail. Hmm.
Because I align so much with so much of what we have read so far, and because I am interested in pursuing my 503 and Madison and I’s WLN pieces further… there is clearly much more to pursue through research and continued exposure to writing centers. My goal is absolutely to continue writing center work in a PhD and beyond, but I am also interested in seeing what sorts of experiences and models I can take from writing centers into TEFL or TESOL work abroad. Writing centers are interested in a lot of the advocacy, equity, and general understanding to writers that I believed in when I decided to teach English. The few texts I have so far been exposed to enforce the ways I think we should treat people, students, writers, and so on. I am nothing but excited to continue reading and working through all of the lessons writing centers have to teach me.
In addition to ways of knowing and teaching, my writing has also been affected by this work. I still am and hopefully always will do better to understand grammar and the rhetorical choices that go into constructing sentences and texts. While I do definitely struggle to write if I think too much about what I am doing, how it is happening, and why my brain orders things automatically in the ways it does, the article for this class feels like it helped me break through a barrier of imposter syndrome. Throughout college I found ways to feel confident in making assertive expert-like moves and claims, but it is hard. There was something about skimming through WLN and how genuine everyone in the writing center is about welcoming newcomers and peer consultants that helped me put down my guard and try to own writing I know I don’t fully understand yet. I look forward to continuing this process of learning to write in new ways!
I think I broke code, too, by writing this before my manifesto and conference presentation. I hope this is okay… there are so many little things and I like to reflect throughout the process of doing involved work (you know, like writing a hefty seminar article, a will-be badass manifesto, and presenting at a cool conference within a few days). Also, my titles for everything have been amazing, so here is a GIF that I am fond of:
(Context: Mindy from The Mindy Project--which I binge-watched all of with a brief break in the middle due to immense frustration with a direction it too--thinks she is hilarious and punny and laughs at all of her own jokes. Rationale: Mindy is hilarious, as am I… so the proud of myself understated happy dance resonates with me)
P.S. I stole this journal title from another favorite show of mine, Bones. The Deschanel sisters really get to me.
